JAWNNY

The Boys With The Thorns In Their Sides

2010-02-10T23:44:00.008-05:00

"Rejected...incapable...anonymous...displaced....an outsider."

Those are some of the words Mike Wallace uses to summarize the place of gay people at the end of his 1967 CBS program, "The Homosexuals". This old footage has been making the blog rounds today. I just now watched/listened to it, and boy is it painful. At nearly 44 minutes, it's long, but it's worth playing all the way through.

The hopelessness of same-sex love - both in the sense that it is impossible to find, and in the sense that the world will never accord same-sex love any dignity and respect - is a theme repeated throughout this documentary, and as I was watching, it was impossible not to think of The Smiths' song, "The Boy With the Thorn in His Side".

And specifically, it was impossible not to think of these lyrics, which have always haunted me:

How can they see the love in our eyes
And still they don't believe us
And after all this time
They don't want to believe us
And if they don't believe us now
Will they ever believe us?
And when you want to live
How do you start
Where do you go
Who do you need to know?

For me, those lyrics have always been about the struggle to find one's gay identity, and the struggle to find gay love. Those struggles can feel like odysseys. So to watch that Mike Wallace program, a mainstream news program that's only about 40 years old, so casually and "objectively" play into every awful, defamatory stereotype there is about gay people was sobering, to say the least. But it was also a reminder that, purely by virtue of being born when and where I was, what seemed like odysseys to me - those journeys to find my gay self - were not nearly so epic as the journeys that all the queer boys who came before me had to endure. And for that I cannot help but be grateful, even though there's so far yet to go.

Kelly Rowland - When Love Takes Over

2009-06-13T11:10:00.003-04:00

A brand new song and video from K-Row. I agree with Joe: she clearly made this song for the gays. It's a little throwback-y to late 1990s gay house, I'd say: a fun, cheerful little summertime track.

Keep Calm and Carry On

2009-06-11T21:16:00.000-04:00

A little over a month ago my dad called to say that my grandmother would be going to the hospital in the morning to get the first round of chemotherapy for a cancerous spot in one of her lungs. My grandmother is not a smoker - she certainly has never smoked during my lifetime - so it's not that. She's just getting old, I guess. Her 80th birthday is in September.

At any rate, learning about my grandmother's condition was the third bad thing in a trinity of bad things that had been going on in my life at the time, the other two being Joey's death and breaking up with Brian. To make shitty news shittier still, it happened that the night my dad called to tell me about my grandmother was the night before an exam. So it wasn't until about two weeks later, when exams were done, that I was finally able to sit down with a semi-clear head and write my grandmother a proper letter to check in and see how she was doing.

It will help to know a little about her. Ginny is a New Englander of Irish/Welsh/Scottish derivation, if memory serves. She is and always has been a stoic, stiff-upper-lip, no-drama kind of gal. But she's warm and energetic, and frankly, Ginny has the most amazing skin I've seen on any woman her age who hasn't gone under the knife or the needle.

I have never felt like Ginny and I really understand each other, but I do know we are very fond of each other, and there is a lot of love between us. We find each other amusing, I think. So it took me a bit to find the right tack to take with this letter. I decided to just be honest. I referred in passing to the fact that I'd had a fairly awful few weeks but didn't give any specifics. (The letter was about Ginny, not me.) I told her a phrase that had gotten me through exams:

My constitutional law professor wore a t-shirt bearing that phrase on our last day of class. The phrase comes from a British propaganda campaign that ran during World War II, when the Germans were bombing London and other places nearby. Apparently, very few of these posters actually were posted, but the slogan has been kept alive.

So I told Ginny how I learned about it from my professor's t-shirt, and how it got me through an emotionally exhausting and extremely stressful few weeks: I wrote the slogan on whatever materials I was allowed to take in with me to each exam, and inevitably at some point in the middle of the test I'd look up and notice it on the desk in front of me, smile, and carry on. I told Ginny all she really could do, all anyone in her shoes could do, was just that - keep calm and carry on - and know that we were all thinking of her and sending her love. On Monday of this week, I got a note in the mail in reply:

John,
I'm sending a check because I feel you might need a little extra cash. That's it.
Now, I'm writing to thank you for one of the most beautiful letters I have ever received.
I am taking one day at a time. On Monday I start my 2nd phase of chemo (they say there might be 3 or 4).
You didn't say what was going on in your own life. I hope things have all worked out.
So thanks again.
"KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON"
Love
Grandma

I cried, of course. That exchange of letters is probably the most meaningful communication that's ever occurred between us - certainly the most meaninful exchange I can remember. But what really got me was the check inside. Ginny is not the type to send money "just because" - she's never been profligate with money. A birthdays and Christmases only kind of person, when it comes to gifts. And my birthday was still about three weeks away from the date of the note. While Ginny is always on top of birthdays, she never sends cards or gifts that early.

Then I remembered a conversation I'd had with my sister a few nights prior, in which she mentioned that Ginny had sent her husband and her a check as a "second half of their anniversary present," or something along those lines. The check I got confirmed what my sister and I suspected: Ginny's giving her money away because she thinks she's dying.

What to make of that? I do need the money, but I haven't been able to bring myself to deposit the check yet. It feels a bit wrong to run off to the bank with it right away; it feels like that would be reveling in Ginny's cancer. And we don't even know yet how the chemo is working. It all just feels premature and anticipatory in the worst way, and I know that Ginny will not speak of this check again.

It's tucked away in a desk drawer, waiting until the fresh sting of realizing the impetus behind it wears off a bit.

Image used under a limited Creative Commons license from flickr user cromacom

Róisin Works Hard For The Money

2009-06-10T22:15:00.002-04:00

Róisin Murphy makes a quick quid on the street in London. How darling is she? Album version of the song and video below.

For Joey.

2009-05-27T12:59:00.000-04:00

About six weeks ago, I lost one of my best friends, suddenly. Joey was my heart; he was my brother; he was my sister. He was my partner in crime. He was my confidant. We were co-pilots on what now seems like too few trips to the beach, and spent what now seem like too few hours generally being fabulous together.

Joey was like licorice: you either loved him, or you detested him. He was brash, he was rude, and he was often an asshole. He judged the hell out of people. But he never – and this is where I feel I have so much to learn from him – he never wrote people off. Joey’s friends, as I learned when we all pulled together to grieve as a family, are an eclectic group of freaks, geeks, fuck-ups, Type-As, creative types, destructive types – often all in the same person. In spite of being one of the most appearance-focused people I’ve ever met, Joey had an incredible, beautiful knack for seeing past all that external shit in other people and celebrating them for their substance. Luckier still for those of us who knew him, Joey also excelled at connecting friends and acquaintances of his who shared similar interests and likely never would have met without him. The interesting side-effect of all this was that we each got a different slice of Joey. Not a one of us can safely say we knew Joey completely. His personality was too broad, our individual personalities too narrow, for any one of us to get the whole picture.

Joey gave what for most people would be a superhuman amount of energy to the causes he loved. He’d walk into a woefully underprepared space where a fundraiser or arts event was to begin in a just few short hours, and he could single-handedly whip it and everyone nearby into showtime form. Joey cared deeply about animals, especially dogs (and most especially his Chihuahua, Tank). He also gave a great deal of time to LGBT causes and events, including Blue Ball and the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. As someone who grew up in a small town in the Poconos, he appreciated the importance of an urban gay community not just for himself but for urban queers in general. No doubt Joey had even more amazing contributions to the community still ahead of him.

At a Memorial Day barbeque, I ended up chatting for a while with my friend Patrick, whom Joey had dated for a while. While we talked, I looked around the room and realized that Joey was the reason all of us were there, at the same party – not because we were expressly celebrating him in any way, but just because he was the only common thread among us all. A lot of us simply wouldn’t have met without him. Finally I understood that this was how we’ll keep Joey in our lives for the years and decades to come: by getting together, crazily cobbled-together urban family that we are, to celebrate holidays, birthdays, any-ol’-days. And I think that’s exactly how he’d want it.

I love you more’n my luggage, Joey. Muah.

Yes. We. Did.

2008-11-05T12:17:00.003-05:00

Holy fucking shit. More later, but that's about all I can say right now.

Photo of Philadelphians celebrating Obama's victory last night from HuffPo

Lady Miss Kier And I Need To Have A Word With You.

2008-11-04T10:03:00.003-05:00

Three words, actually.

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, people. Between school- and Phillies- and election-related mayhem, a bitch has been busy. But not too busy to bring you an important public service message: VOTE BABY VOTE!

LET'S DO THIS, PHILADELPHIA!

2008-10-29T09:17:00.004-04:00

COME ON, PHILS, AND RIDE THE SOUL TRAIN TO VICTORY TONIGHT!!!

k thx 4 foto philly.com

Why Fundamentalism Is Dangerous

2008-10-21T15:03:00.002-04:00

Fundamentalism in any form is terrifying and dangerous. Sure, it makes your life easier; you don't have to worry about what the answer is because it's always Jesus or God or Allah or Whoever. But it makes you stop thinking. And it gives people the false notion that a return to theocratic monarchy would magically heal the world. News flash, Tracys of the world: it'll be the death of us all.

And the menacing "I'LL PRAY FOR HIM"? Creepy.

"Jeepers Crumpets, Who Could That Be?"

2008-10-20T11:49:00.001-04:00

I present to you the first minute or so of the Sarah Palin-themed porn, Nailin' Palin. And yes, it's safe for work.

Puck Falin Update

2008-10-15T09:33:00.001-04:00

So since my last post on the matter, Governor Palin has come to Philly and gone. But there's two fun new things to share. First, of course, is the video of Governor Palin dropping the puck and clearly getting booed - before the deafening music over the PA system drowns out the crowd.

Second is an excellent t-shirt for sale on Etsy that a classmate tipped me off to:

God, what will we do when this woman disappears from the national stage?

Puck Falin

2008-10-11T09:53:00.003-04:00

The other day on Philebrity, there was a post about how incredibly stupid it was for Ed Snider to arrange for Sarah Palin to throw out the first puck at the Flyers' opener tonight. In the comments, people were gettin' riled up, and reminded them not to do anything stupid or violent, as it would only make Palin into a sympathetic figure. "Still," I concluded, "puck Falin."

When I next checked in on Philebrity, my heart was moved to see this post and the following graphic.My fellow Philadelphians, I am honored to have inspired this. For God and Benny Franklin, I remain,

Faithfully yours,
sweet jawnny

I Also Want To Marry Donna Brazile

2008-10-10T12:44:00.002-04:00

At the New Yorker breakfast this past weekend, Donna Brazile launched into an amazing ad-libbed speech about race and the election. It's passionate but not angry, stirring but not cheesy. Like Anderson Cooper, I would love to be her boo.

I Want To Marry Betty White

2008-10-10T12:23:00.002-04:00

In this clip, she refers to Sarah Palin as a "crazy bitch" and says she'd love, really love to give Barack Obama more "experience."

All The Fat Stupid Racist People

2008-10-09T14:48:00.003-04:00

The crowd in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, filing into a recent McCain-Palin rally.

Terrorist, Muslim, Communist. All these words are red herrings. What these people so clearly want to say is "nigger." I'd be able to deal with videos like this better if these people just called Obama a nigger because at least then they'd be honest. They believe what they need to believe so that they can go to bed at night thinking they're not racist. Fucking assholes. I'm embarrassed to share a skin color and a state with these slimebags. This is your base, Republicans? In 2008?

No Palin Press Conference Before Election Day

2008-10-08T11:13:00.003-04:00

Unsurprising. But terrifying and unprecedented. Can you imagine what she'd be like if McCain kicked the bucket and she became president? She'd out-Dubya Dubya.

On a slightly less serious note, it's not just the McCain campaign's undermining of the role of the press in a democratic society that bothers me here. It's also the fact that were being deprived of the certain-to-be-hilarious answers Palin would give if she did ever hold a press conference. Yesterday, one lucky reporter on the trail actually got to ask her a question(!): did she think Obama was dishonest? And this is what the Governor, wordsmith of the Last Frontier, said:

I’m not saying he’s dishonest, but in terms of judgment, in terms of being able to answer a question forthrightly, it has two different parts to this. The judgment and the truthfulness and just being able to answer very candidly a simple question about when did you know him, how did you know him, is there still — has there been an association continued since ’02 or ’05, I know I’ve read a couple different stories. I think it’s relevant.

Umm, what? "In terms of being able to answer a question forthrightly," indeed. If we elect this inarticulate, incurious, flash-card-governing fool and her running mate to the two highest offices in the land, we are a sorry lot indeed. Or we're geniuses for getting ourselves at least four years of Tina Fey impressions on SNL.

The Joy of Sox

2008-10-07T17:26:00.006-04:00

The Red Sox won the American League Division Series last night in dramatic fashion and advance to the AL Championship Series where they'll face AL East rival Tampa Bay. But that's boring. What's not boring is a Gchat conversation I had with my friend (and devoted fan of this blog) Maureen during Game 3 of this series, which was Sunday night. I know there are a few Red Sox fans who read this, but I think the ladies and gays out there who generally like sports, even if they're not Sox fans, will appreciate it too.

me: are you watching the sox?

Maureen: yeah dude rough game
end this shit

me: srsly

Maureen: Figgins
hahaha awful name

me: i wanted my boys to fucking homer in the bottom of the 9th but they weren't listening to me screaming at the TV
chone figgins. yeah. terrible name, all around.

Maureen: i know, i cant believe pedroia didnt listen

me: pedroia is my little snugglebear

Maureen: mine too

me: i would house him in a sec. [NOTE: The proper pronunciation of "house" in this context is "haüs".]

Maureen: me too

me: lolz this is why i love talking sports with gays or ladies

Maureen: totally
i was just telling struwe that i wish big ben would shave off his goatee
oh there he is!

me: ben who? roethlisberger?

Maureen: yeah
steelers just won

me: ugh
hate them
and yeah, big ben would be cute without the peach fuzz chin pubes

Maureen: yeah, because when you combine that with his white trash southern accent, its not a good combo

me: meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, kevin youkilis has the most ridiculous facial hair...to ever turn me on.
big ben doesn't have a good chin, really

Maureen: jahahhaha really

me: yeah dude
i'm all about the epic youk-goat

Maureen: i dont like youks, it grosses me out
lol
damn pedroia

me: i just screamed DAMN IT DUSTIN at the TV
why don't they ever hear me?

Maureen: papi looks like his beard was painted on tonight

me: lol
i just said that out loud to myself
this conversation is totally going on my blog, btw

Maureen: lol
610-[redacted]
thats my #, since this is going on your blog
There must be at least a handful of cute straight guys who read your blog

me: hahahaha
well, there's at least some cute gays who read it
and we're good drinking buddies

Maureen: yeah, good enough
men are men

me: spoken like a true maneater

Maureen: just call me nelly
sweeeeeeeeet

me: YES
see? never doubt the power of the youk-goat.

Maureen: he looks like a country sociopath

me: some of us have fantasies...

Maureen: lol

Photo from The Boston Globe

Harpy Hasselbeck Auditions For Fox News

2008-10-06T16:41:00.001-04:00

The Huffington Post has great video of Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View claiming that while any mention of John McCain's involvement in the Keating Five scandal is off-limits, mentions of Barack Obama's tenuous connections to former Weatherman William Ayers are fair game. Needless to say, the other women of The View tear her a new one. And that was without Joy Behar, who was out today. It's not surprising Hasselbeck was pushing GOP talking points today, as it's rumored she may be considering a move to Fox "News" Channel.

Lady In Cow Costume Arrested

2008-10-02T17:03:00.000-04:00

In non-Sarah-Palin-related (but equally amusing) news, a woman in Ohio was recently arrested while wearing a cow costume. And yes, she was wearin' it for the mugshots!

According to WKRC in Cincinnati, Michelle Allen was arrested for disorderly conduct for allegedly chasing children, blocking traffic, even peeing on a neighbor's porch - all while wearing the cow suit. Police say she smelled of booze when they arrested her. There's a shocker!

Image from WKRC-TV

Palin B-I-N-G-O

2008-10-02T16:45:00.002-04:00

Have fun during the debate tonight with Palin Bingo! This square is my personal favorite:

Get it? Her head is Air Space! lolzorz!!!1! I'm gonna hafta get good and drunk to watch this fiasco between her and Gaffebot5000 tonight. On the upside, they both have fake Twitter accounts now.

Sarah Palin Round-Up

2008-10-01T09:31:00.002-04:00

It seems like every day she says or does some new stupid thing! Here's a round-up of recent Sarah Palin goodness. First, a clip from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey is fucking brilliant.

Next up, Sarah Palin makes the bold claim to Katie Couric that she reads ALL newspapers. Every single one of 'em. (Including the Times of London and Le Monde?) But she can't seem to remember the names of any of them. In fairness to her, however, she probably isn't allowed to mention most of them unless she attaches the disclaimer, "but I don't read that wacky LIBERAL ELITE paper anymore! I just trust my maverick intuition to tell me what's goin' on in the world!"

Finally, Sarah Palin and John McCain's joint appearance in a Katie Couric interview. Kathryn-Jean Lopez of the National Review put it best: "this video looks like Sarah Palin went back to the principal's office with her dad." You know it's bad when even the National Review isn't loving her.

Yes, those "Gotcha! journalism" questions from Temple grad students at Tony Luke's. Oh wait, he's not a journalist? Just a voter? Oy.

More Like HOT Hand Luke

2008-09-30T12:45:00.000-04:00

R.I.P. Paul Newman.

Sarah Palin To Get Good And Tight In Center City Before The Debate

2008-09-26T17:52:00.004-04:00

My fellow Philadelphians, in case you haven't already heard, Sarah Palin is going to be knockin' back a few shots with hand-picked supporters from 7-ish until 8-ish at Irish Pub at 20th and Walnut tonight. So if you've got your "I'm with stupid -->" t-shirt on today and you want a photo op, tonight's your chance!

Sarah Palin On Alaska's Foreign Neighbors

2008-09-26T17:40:00.002-04:00

So here's the actual version of the video I posted earlier. What just struck me about this that hadn't struck me before was this line from Gov. Palin: "It's funny that a comment like that was kind of made to...um, char-...I don't know, you know. Reporters. Mocked, yeah. I guess that's the word, yeah." It's not the fact that she got hamstrung for a moment there - it happens to all of us - it's the, "You know. Reporters!" bit. It's odd on two levels. Last I checked, one, Katie Couric *is* a reporter (though some people may differ with me on that), and two, Sarah Palin majored in journalism. Reporters, indeed!

Putin Rears His Head!

2008-09-26T13:08:00.004-04:00

SUPERLOLZ:

via boingboing

I Personally Believe...

2008-09-26T12:34:00.001-04:00

This clip probably best sums up my feelings on the Sarah Palin interview with Katie Couric.

More Palin-tastic fun later!

Lunchtime Poll

2008-09-26T07:57:00.002-04:00

Not really. But it is a clip from Heathers.

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. School has been busy, and besides, so many ridiculous things have happened this week, I don't even know where to begin. But I know it will involve video of Sarah Palin being a complete idiot, so check back for that!

Dept. of Mindnumbing Irony and General What-the-Fuckery

2008-09-17T11:31:00.001-04:00

Had I had coffee in my mouth when I read this tidbit from CNN's Political Ticker, I would have spat it all over my computer. It's good I didn't, so that I could bring you this post. Prominent Hillary Clinton supporter Lady (yes, darling, she's nobility) Lynn Forester de Rothschild (yes, darling, those de Rothschilds), is set to endorse John McCain tomorrow. But she's not your run-of-the-mill PUMA, as her noble title and wealth suggest. Why is she supporting McCain, you ask?

“This is a hard decision for me personally because frankly I don't like him,” she said of Obama in an interview with CNN’s Joe Johns. “I feel like he is an elitist. I feel like he has not given me reason to trust him.”

Wow. Just...wow. The mind boggles, frankly. All I can think of is those posters from the '80s of rich people leaning on Rolls-Royces with the line "Poverty Sucks" above. In that spirit, I give you the following.

Ahhh. I feel better now.

LOL Of The Week

2008-09-16T21:27:00.000-04:00

A much-needed election-related laugh.

SPERM DONOR FAIL

2008-09-12T16:56:00.002-04:00

When I saw this on the subway platform the other day, I wondered, Is he covering his face like that because he's embarrassed that he donated sperm and now all of Philadelphia knows? Or did he jizz in his eye?

Good Morning: Debbie Gibson, "Electric Youth"

2008-09-12T09:54:00.002-04:00

This video is epic. It has a minute-long intro about how, well, ELECTRIC the YOUTH are. Enjoy!

Of Lipstick and Dipsticks

2008-09-11T15:38:00.004-04:00

Sorry for the dearth of posts this week. My first writing assignment is due tomorrow, so I've been a bit scattered. Here's a morsel to tide you over: a screenshot of part of the New York Times website yesterday.

Taken out of context, it reads like something from The Onion. This is what passes for journalism? This is what we care about in a close election? Christ.

Good Morning: Reba McEntire, "Fancy"

2008-09-11T09:08:00.001-04:00

I kind of love-hate Reba's cover of this song, but the video is friggin' priceless.

Good Morning: Paula Abdul, "Vibeology"

2008-09-10T07:38:00.001-04:00

"Now," you ask, "what does it mean?" Why, it's the study of the chemistry between you and me!

Bush To Follow Obama's Plan For Iraq And Afghanistan

2008-09-09T10:40:00.003-04:00

Well, how about this: CNN reports that President Bush just announced a withdrawal of 8,000 troops from Iraq by February and an increase of troops in Afghanistan. This is basically what Obama has been saying we should do all along.

Bush said in a speech on Tuesday morning that improving conditions in Iraq will allow a "quiet surge" of American troops to Afghanistan, where there has been a resurgence of the Taliban and a growth in violence.

. . .

[The President announced:] "Over the next several months, we will bring home about 3,400 combat support forces -- including aviation personnel, explosive ordnance teams, combat and construction engineers, military police, and logistical support forces. By November, we will bring home a Marine battalion that is now serving in Anbar province. And in February of 2009, another Army combat brigade will come home.

"This amounts to about 8,000 additional American troops returning home without replacement. And if the progress in Iraq continues to hold, Gen. Petraeus and our military leaders believe additional reductions will be possible in the first half of 2009."

Meanwhile, you have McCain who has no plan for Iraq beyond the word "victory," which he has failed to define in any meaningful way, and his running mate, who believes we're doing God's work there:

The choice in this election is startingly clear.

Good Morning: Billy Ocean, "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car"

2008-09-09T08:54:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the lack of post yesterday - law school is a greedy brat when it comes to my time. The theme for this week's morning videos will be Guilty Pleasures.

LOL Of The Week

2008-09-07T11:46:00.003-04:00

via Towleroad

If The Real Thing Don't Do The Trick, You Better Make Up Somethin' Quick

2008-09-05T13:00:00.002-04:00

TMZ reports that badass rock bitches Ann and Nancy Wilson of TOTALLY FRIGGIN' AWESOME GROUP THAT I LOVE Heart are asking the McCain campaign to stop using their song "Barracuda" as Alaska Governor and Republican vice presidential candidate "Sarah Barracuda" Palin's theme song. The video is below. Right on, Wilson sisters!

Good Morning: Pet Shop Boys, "New York City Boy"

2008-09-05T10:07:00.000-04:00

Good Morning: Moby, "Feeling So Real"

2008-09-04T10:19:00.000-04:00

Crank up the BPMs, baby!

I Was For It Before I Was Against It

2008-09-03T13:05:00.003-04:00

Needs a caption. Seriously, WTF was McCain thinking picking her?!?

Image from Andrew Halcro via Ben Smith

Good Morning: Bob Sinclar, "Feel For You"

2008-09-03T07:32:00.001-04:00

Campbell Brown's Game Is Seriously Tight

2008-09-02T21:31:00.003-04:00

Watch her rip McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds a new one in this clip. By the way, what the hell kind of name is Tucker Bounds?

Palin-Mania!

2008-09-02T18:14:00.000-04:00

First of all, thanks to everyone who visited JAWNNY over the last few days from Towleroad and Kenneth in the 212. I'm flabbergasted that my lunch break observation was so noteworthy!

Second, I was going to follow up on that post with another one on the s**tshow that is Sarah Palin, but luckily, a friend has already helpfully compiled everything new that's come to light about the Governor of Alaska since she was named the Republican candidate for vice president all of four days ago. Check out The Palin Report for a nice running list of the last few days' events.

Finally, the existence of The Palin Report frees me to do what I do best: strive for humor and silliness. In that spirit, I share with you another shocking resemblance that a member of the Palin clan bears to a celebrity. Bristol Palin kind of looks like - no, not Jamie Lynn Spears - gymnastics badass Shawn Johnson. See for yourself:

Leaving aside the total imprudence of McCain having picked a vice presidential candidate who seems to have an endless stream of bad press associated with her, at least she's brought us some entertainment! And a pregnant daughter who looks like one of the country's recent Olympic heroes.

Good Morning: Cassius, "The Sound of Violence"

2008-09-02T07:32:00.002-04:00

This video is so mesmerizing. And the song ain't bad either.

Karen Walker for VP?

2008-08-29T13:05:00.004-04:00

Is it just me...

...or does McCain's pick for vice president, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (left), look a little like Karen Walker?

SMS-Induced Smile

2008-08-29T12:01:00.004-04:00

This morning I got the following text message from my friend Joey:

To: [Friend], jawnny, [Friend], and [Friend]: I had a dream last night that we all went to Montreal on a misdirected Atlantic City and sang thief of hearts at an impromptu karaoke we started in an abandoned church. [Ex of Friend] and [Ex of Friend] were there too, but we ignored them.

Abandoned church karaoke bar? Sounds amazing. Creating one on a misdirected casino bus on the way to Montreal? Sounds like an American sequel to Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Good Morning: Basement Jaxx, "Red Alert"

2008-08-29T08:25:00.003-04:00

This song blew my mind the first time ever heard it, which was during the first week or two of college back in 1999. It's a huge part of the reason I am and always will be a house-head.

Mariah Carey Is Magic

2008-08-28T12:18:00.002-04:00

This video from fourfour is, in a word, afuckingmazing.

John Kerry's Speech at the DNC

2008-08-28T09:46:00.000-04:00

The networks all decided this speech by John Kerry was not really worth covering. Except it's the best speech I've ever heard him give. It's 13 minutes long, but it's absolutely worth setting aside some time for.

Good Morning: Junior Jack, "My Feeling"

2008-08-28T07:56:00.000-04:00

I Love Being Right, or Why Gays Need the Right

2008-08-27T12:06:00.001-04:00

Previously, in response to the absurd "scandal" about one of the founders of the gay sex site Manhunt being a McCain donor, I posted a screed about how we gays need to get over our kneejerk liberalism. The Los Angeles Times just ran a smart, even-handed piece by James Kirchick of The New Republic on just this issue.

This line really stuck out for me: "labeling everyone with whom [gay activists] don't agree a 'bigot' does not help the worthy cause of gay equality." I was reminded of the night I went on a bar crawl with fellow Obama supporters in the Gayborhood just before the April 22 primary here in Pennsylvania. We handed out literature and stickers and buttons, talked with people who were curious or had questions, and generally just put a gay face on the Obama campaign, as it were. On the whole, it was a great experience, but the things that some gays and lesbians we talked to that night believed about Obama were frightening. Many people were convinced he was anti-gay. The Donnie McClurkin incident seemed to have done a lot of damage - never mind that under Bill Clinton, husband of the woman most people we talked to that night supported and supposedly a hero of gays, we got Don't Ask Don't Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act. Most had no idea that Obama's stance on LGBT issues was actually slightly more progressive than Hillary Clinton's. One (rather drunk) Hillary supporter got into a screaming fight with one of us, accusing all of us who were out supporting Obama of being homophobic. And she wasn't the only one.

So I think that experience (and keep in mind, we were out there in support of another Democrat - can you imagine what would have happened if we were McCain supporters?) gave me a greater awareness of our community's tendency to excommunicate anyone with whom we don't agree. We do this to our inestimable detriment. As Kirchick points out, Democrats alone have not been able to move this country forward on gay issues. Like it or not, we need Republicans.

Vigilante Proofreaders Banned From National Parks

2008-08-27T10:13:00.002-04:00

I think these guys might be my heroes. Benjamin Herson (left) and Jeff Deck are banned from all National Parks after they damaged an antique, handpainted sign in Grand Canyon National Park - by correcting some sort of spelling and/or punctuation error on the sign. Deck is the man behind the Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL), an Internet-based group that encourages people to correct signage with typographical or grammatical errors. Unfortunately, the TEAL website tipped off the feds to Herson and Deck's crime. The moral of the story seems to be: don't document your vigilante proofreading prowess!

Good Morning: Artful Dodger feat. Craig David, "Re-Rewind"

2008-08-27T07:51:00.001-04:00

I think for the next week (or so), my Good Morning jams will be some of my favorite dance songs of the late 1990s and early 2000s - that is, my club kid days. Up first, a chill little 2-step jawn featuring Craig David of "Fill Me In" fame. Whatever happened to him?

Zoning Board Grows A Pair, Rejects Tacky Unisys Sign

2008-08-26T20:43:00.001-04:00

I am thrilled to see this. It would have set a terrible precedent, damaging one of the city's most important buildings, if Unisys - which wouldn't even be Two Liberty's biggest tenant - had been allowed to slap its logo on a building never meant to bear one. Go Zoning Board!

Good Morning: Le Tigre feat. Jessie Spano, "I'm So Excited"

2008-08-25T08:46:00.002-04:00

This one goes out to everyone starting law school today.

Good Morning: Danity Kane, "Damaged"

2008-08-22T08:16:00.004-04:00

So I never liked Danity Kane (or their bizarre name) until I heard this song. Fellow law nerds: there's probably a pun-laden song about torts somewhere in here.

Apologies for the little ads that appear during the video - this is the best version of it that I could find, even with the ads.

Good Morning: Taylor Dayne, "Prove Your Love"

2008-08-21T07:28:00.002-04:00

I woke up with this in my head, so now I'm inflicting it on all of you. I especially love Taylor's WICKED NEW YAWK remarks before the video starts.

Texas Governor Wants To Allow Concealed Weapons In Classrooms

2008-08-20T11:15:00.000-04:00

Yikes. The Houston Chronicle reports that Texas Governor Rick Perry (R) wants to allow school districts to set their own gun rules:

"I'm pretty much a fan that if you've been trained, if you are registered, then you ought to be able to carry a weapon," Perry said.

The idea is that, in the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy, having trained, gun-bearing adults on school campuses would help to quickly bring any similar future massacres to a halt. Or something. I'm not an expert on this, but my guess is that most school shootings are not Virginia Tech-style massacres, but rather one-on-one confrontations between students who aren't getting along. If that is true, I fail to see how having more guns (legal though they may be) on school campuses - particularly, grade school campuses - makes children safer. It also seems like school districts would potentially open themselves up to all kinds of legal problems by allowing guns in the classroom. All it takes is one teacher failing to lock up his or her gun, and a curious student or group of students.

via Andrew Sullivan

Good Morning: Jill Scott, "Gettin' In The Way"

2008-08-20T07:48:00.003-04:00

Apologies for the long absence; I started law school this week and am trying to figure out how to work in blog-time. (The fact that the school's firewall seems not to like Blogger isn't helping matters. ) At any rate, here's one of my favorite videos from one of my favorite Philadelphians.

Miss Liukin If You're Nastia

2008-08-15T09:54:00.004-04:00

I am officially, full-tilt in love with American gymnast Nastia Liukin. Her teammate Shawn Johnson may have been ordained the next Mary Lou Retton, her likeness stamped on all kinds of products, but Nastia's quiet elegance prevailed in last night's all-around finals.

Image from the Los Angeles Times

Gays Are Allowed To Be Republicans

2008-08-14T10:50:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I'm getting conservative in my old age or what, but it seems like each new Gay Outrage of the Week makes less and less sense to me. To wit: peeps are upset about the fact that the owner of Manhunt (link NSFW) is a McCain contributor. "Log in, get off, get betrayed," fumes Joe, in a play on Manhunt's slogan.

OK. Let me be as clear as I possibly can here: THE OWNER OF MANHUNT IS ALLOWED TO BE A REPUBLICAN. As he himself pointed out, neither McCain nor Obama supports gay marriage. And it's not like Mr. Manhunt gave money to Romney or Huckabee, who are both unambiguous gay-haters.

I think what this whole situation illustrates is that what bothers some of us gays more than anything else is the mere existence of Log Cabin Republicans in the first place. For most of us, they seem to be an elusive species, rarely seen in the wild, even though there are plenty of non-liberal gays out there.

When we find out that a successful, wealthy - and sex-site owning gay, no less - is a member of the GOP, on top of our normal why-would-you-be-a-Republican-if-you're-gay reaction, there is this irrational but real sense of betrayal. "How could HE of all people give money to THEM?" we wonder. But I don't think it's all that shocking, and I don't think it, on its own, merits canceling a membership. The fact that Manhunt totally sucks and is destroying gay culture is a far more compelling reason to cancel one's membership.

(One small disclaimer: I'm all for informed consumerism. If you don't like what the people you're buying stuff from are doing with their money, by all means, don't give them your money anymore. Just don't expect everyone else to agree with you or do the same.)

Kids

2008-08-13T10:27:00.008-04:00

Every time I see one of these buses around town

it makes me think of this:

...which is probably not the kind of mental association the Pennsylvania State Children's Health Insurance Program wants me to make.

Ruminations: Textbooks and Tyra

2008-08-12T10:27:00.005-04:00

Law textbooks are, like, totally expensive. Here's just a sampling:

Right in the range I expected, but still, dang!

Brian and I are watching Tyra Banks's talk show right now. The topic is light-skinned vs. dark-skinned black women, and you can imagine the (low) level of discourse she's inciting. Currently a self-described light-skinned woman is on stage, being baited by Tyra to say racist shit about dark-skinned women. Then, of course, racist light-skinned woman gets dressed down by Tyra and the audience. I swear, Tyra clearly grows stronger by making those around her feel weak. She's kind of amazing.

Image of crazy Tyra from fourfour

Font of Fonts

2008-08-11T13:51:00.002-04:00

Keeping in the spirit of my totally deep and spiritual theme here of late, here's a picture of me in my new hat! Thanks to Tré for pointing this one out to me.

Beach-Bound

2008-08-08T08:55:00.002-04:00

Joey and I (but sadly not Brian) are off to my hometown for the weekend, where I anticipate we'll have a gay ol' time. Before I run along, here's a playlist I highly recommend for when you're out in the sun. I have to acknowledge this playlist at Refinery 29, since it provided some of the songs below.

The Zone-Out Mix
01 VHS Or Beta - Solid Gold
02 Röyksopp - Only This Moment
03 MGMT - Electric Feel
04 New Order - True Faith
05 Kylie Minogue - The One
06 Groove Armada - At The River
07 Yelle - Ce Jeu (Pirate Robot Midget Love Mix)
08 John Maus - Rights For Gays
09 Madonna - What It Feels Like For A Girl (Calderone & Quayle Dark Side Mix)
10 Pet Shop Boys - ~~I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Anymore~~ Being Boring
11 El Guincho - Palmitos Park
12 Télépopmusik - Breathe
13 Wax Poetic feat. Norah Jones - Angels (Morgan Page Remix)
14 Yeasayer - Sunrise (Hey Champ Remix)
15 Air France - Beach Party

Glamorous

2008-08-06T11:05:00.002-04:00

Here's where I was yesterday at noon.

Guido Beach

2008-08-04T13:50:00.002-04:00

This video about the denizens of the Jersey Shore in summertime pretty much speaks for itself. Loudly. In a horrible dirty-Jerz accent. Be sure to watch it all the way to the end for some guidette catfight goodness.

Gone Fishin'

2008-08-04T10:55:00.004-04:00

Posting will likely be wildly sporadic over the next two weeks, as I'm on vacation. I do have a truly delightful video to share with you later today, but beyond that, I'm a man without a plan. So, like, go outside and play or something.

Things I Like: August 1, 2008

2008-08-01T11:40:00.002-04:00

Tumbleweave. (hat tip to Philebrity)

Now that I finally upgraded, Leopard.

Barney Frank's move to decriminalize pot possession. The resources we devote to tracking down and arresting people who smoke weed would be much better spent protecting the ol' homeland. And those rasta shops on South Street would filled with pot smoke, instead of pot-and-incense smoke.

I'm still loving ~~Princess~~ Prince Chunky.

Though I kind of love his airheaded ways, it's probably for the best that the Red Sox traded Manny Ramirez. They need to get it together and stop their slump.

Last days at work...

...especially when followed by two weeks of vacation.

And finally, this clip about the wonders of queefing from Talk Sex with Sue Johanson. (hat tip to OMGblog)

This has been another delicious installment of Things I Like. Enjoy!

Good Morning: Brownstone, "If You Love Me"

2008-08-01T07:45:00.000-04:00

If you're a JAWNNY regular, you know that today is the final day of School Bus Jams week, wherein the songs in this week's Good Morning videos have all been ones I remember fondly from my school bus ridin' days. Our final School Bus Jam of the week is one you may have forgotten about. But you'll be feeling it as soon as the beat drops.

Craigslist Roundup: Naughty Reckless Drivers And Classic NES Fetishists

2008-07-31T12:14:00.005-04:00

As y'all know by now, I loves me some wacky craigslist ads. A friend back in Rhode Island sent a tweet about this beaut last night, posted by a naughty little reckless-driving minx in Cranston who just wants to be punished for moving violations...and then get off, in more ways than one. The screenshot is below, in case the post gets flagged for removal for some reason. Click to enlarge.

Then, just this morning, Lis sent me the link to an awesome recent addition to the best of craigslist. You really must read the whole thing, but here's one of my favorite parts:

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

He's so particular! But I have to say, the line "When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you" is (literally) fucking genius.

Update: Princess Chunky Is A Star

2008-07-31T10:53:00.001-04:00

Just a few days after the Inquirer reported about the rescue of Princess Chunky, a 44-pound cat, by a Camden County animal shelter, the Princess has become a star. Her - or rather his, as a veterinarian has since determined Princess Chunky is a male - "foster mother" spoke to a radio chat show in London yesterday, and the cat was scheduled to appear on Live with Regis and Kelly this morning, as well as shows on several other networks over the next two days. The Inquirer also adds this interesting detail in today's story about Prince(ss) Chunky:

Shelter officials received a call from the owner, a senior citizen who lost her home to foreclosure and is now staying with friends. Because of her circumstances, the owner said she was "vey sad" she could no longer care for the 44-pound cat, shelter executive director Jennifer Anderch said in a telephone interview this morning.

The happy ending, of course, is that with all the media attention he's getting, Prince(ss) Chunky should have no trouble finding a new home!

Good Morning: Adina Howard, "Freak Like Me"

2008-07-31T08:25:00.000-04:00

Good Morning: Jade, "Don't Walk Away"

2008-07-30T07:57:00.001-04:00

Princess Chunky Of Jersey

2008-07-29T21:59:00.003-04:00

Animal Control in Camden County, NJ, found a 44-pound cat last week that they've dubbed Princess Chunky.

There are fat cats and then there are fat cats.
South Jersey, to be sure, has seen its fair share of the indictable variety, but never before has it seen the likes of the portly pussycat found waddling in Voorhees.

Meet Princess Chunky -- all 44 pounds of her and just two pounds shy of the 1987 Guiness World Record for overweight cats.

Camden County Animal Control Officer Jim McCleery got the call Friday. There was a a stray cat prowling on a patio in the Ashley Run condominium development.

"We picked him up and I knew from the get-go it wouldn't fit in the regular cat carrier, so we had to put him in a dog carrier. . . it was a big cat, the biggest one this year," said McCleery of the Camden County Joint Municipal Animal Control Program.

The article goes on to say that Princess Chunky may have...diabeetus! Poor kitty. Someone did has too many cheezburgerz.

I'm Lovin' It

2008-07-29T21:35:00.004-04:00

from Failblog via Joe. My. God.

Service Alert

2008-07-29T13:48:00.004-04:00

Just wanted to let y'all know that posting may be a little sparse this week, as my evenings have been spent helping Brian get our new, shared space in order and my days are spent making sure all hell doesn't break loose after my last day at work.

But fear not: I've already got the rest of my School Bus Jams planned out for the rest of the week.

Good Morning: Zhané, "Hey Mr. DJ"

2008-07-29T08:04:00.002-04:00

The second video in this week's celebration of School Bus Jams (explained here).

Best Word Of The Day Ever

2008-07-28T16:23:00.004-04:00

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day today is:

t/y Kolajo and Kate

Score Another For Political Correctness And Kneejerk Liberalism

2008-07-28T11:25:00.000-04:00

Joe is reporting - celebrating, perhaps - that Nike has pulled its allegedly homophobic ads, the gay reaction to which caused me to have an aneurysm here. While I think the entire thing was stupid from the start, I understand why Nike's doing this: even stupid controversy is potentially (and even then, only potentially) bad for business. But what have we - the gays, those of us supposedly harmed by such an advertisement - really won in the deal?

I think flipping out over advertisements in general is rather self-defeating, or at least counter-productive, simply based on the nature of media. Drawing attention to an allegedly offensive ad only gains it even wider exposure - for free, no less. Will that wider exposure carry some negative consequences for the company or product being advertised? Sure. But it'll also get the hype out about the product to plenty of people who don't find the ad offensive, are interested in the product, and may not have heard about it otherwise. So it's a double-edged sword, at best, to protest an ad campaign, particularly one like this, which was only questionably offensive in the first place.

This isn't to say that I think it's always a bad idea to protest an ad, but rather that we need to develop thicker skins (by which I really mean better critical thinking skills) when it comes to stuff like this. If you're a cocksucker, it's easy to look at the Nike ad above and see a negative judgment of your behavior. But I think these days, our society - not just minorities, but everyone in America - is constantly on the lookout for offensive things. This isn't a bad thing in theory, but in practice, I think we've developed a hair-trigger approach to this stuff. The reaction to these Nike ads is a prime example of that. And I shall say no more on the subject.

Good Morning: Mary J. Blige, "Real Love"

2008-07-28T07:53:00.003-04:00

After Friday's Good Morning clip, I decided to dedicate this week's clips to School Bus Jams - the songs I remember hearing on the bus on the way to school when I was younger. First up, Mary J. Blige.

Birds Are Scared Of Amy Winehouse

2008-07-25T14:33:00.004-04:00

Or at least her scarecrow doppelganger. A farmer in England has apparently made an Amy Winehouse scarecrow that has been surprisingly effective at keeping birds away from his crops.

The booze and cigarette for Amy Scarehouse were nice touches. Very creative. And hey - he's kinda cute, too!

Almighty Crack

2008-07-25T13:09:00.005-04:00

Let me begin by saying that I'm glad that everyone got off this terrifying flight totally unscathed. I'd have shit my pants several times had I been on that plane - just look at the photos of the plane and tell me that's not some scary shit right there.

That said, the following headline

Made me think: "Girl, that ain't nothin' compared to the ALMIGHTY CRACK I seen on the trolley the other day!" Am I horrible?

Things I Like: July 25, 2008

2008-07-25T11:07:00.000-04:00

That for a $70 contribution to the McCain campaign, you can wipe your feet on John McCain's name every day.

Deleting old e-mails.

Coming across long-forgotten, LOL-inducing, old e-mails in the process.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (now only available on iTunes).

These brutally hot photos of Carlos Freire at Made in Brazil. Yeah, I just said "brutally hot".

That the level of insanity this season on Project Runway - among both judges and contestants - is definitely already at "batshit crazy". And we're only two episodes in. Consult this post on Project Rungay if you don't believe me.

Avocados. Because they actually ripen in a reasonable amount of time in the summer.

Eric Leven's really smart post about ACT UP vs. barebackers.

That I came across this ad while checking the website of a newspaper back home:

And finally, this hilarious video by Secret Pants in which unsuspecting tourists on Independence Mall are presented with quotes and must identify the source: Adam West-era Batman or Bush (hat tip to Philebrity).

This has been another installment of Things I Like. Enjoy!

Good Morning: SWV, "Weak"

2008-07-25T07:52:00.002-04:00

One of what I like to call my "School Bus Jams" from back in the day.

For Kolajo

And Now For Something a Little Less Serious

2008-07-24T16:51:00.001-04:00

"All you fat bitches shoulda got up out yo' seats when my fat ass pulled around in that goddamn pyramid." Love it. This clip is just a taste of Mo'Nique's utterly uproarious stand-up in The Queens of Comedy, which I highly, highly recommend. Whenever I'm feeling blue, that shit always makes me feel better.

Is Inability to Have Sex a Disability? Yes, Says D.C. Circuit

2008-07-24T14:27:00.007-04:00

KJ brought this article to my attention the other day. The gist is as follows. In 2002, Kathy Adams took the Foreign Service entrance exams and passed with flying colors. Before her training started in January 2004, however, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery - specifically, she had a mastectomy and had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed. The State Department then denied her entry into the Foreign Service because they could not guarantee she would have access to adequate follow-up care in her overseas assignments. Adams sued, claiming that the State Department was illegally discriminating against her because she had a disability. What disability was that, you ask? Sexual incapacitation.

Wait a minute - what now? Adams claimed, reasonably enough, that having her lady-parts removed made her gain weight and lose her libido, and that the resulting loss of ability to have sex constituted the loss of a "major life activity" as defined under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Curious, I looked it up to see how it defines "disability":

(2) Disability

The term "disability" means, with respect to an individual

(A) a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more of the major life activities of such individual;

(B) a record of such an impairment; or

(C) being regarded as having such impairment.

So it's kind of vague, but based on my extremely amateur assessment and not having seen any of the evidence from the case, my guess is that I'd probably agree with the judges' assertions that 1) Adams does have a physical impairment that substantially limits her ability to have sex; 2) sex is a "major life activity" protected under the ADA; and 3) therefore, sexual impairment like Adams's qualifies as a disability under the ADA. (So, to answer your question, KJ: Yes, you can show up at work, get fired, and then claim you have vulvodynia and appeal under the ADA.)

Leaving aside some of the peculiarities of the case - in particular, the fact that the judges ruled that it didn't matter that the State Department didn't know the specifics about Adams's disability - KJ and I both found this quote from one of the judges in the majority rather puzzling, if not annoying:

"At the risk of stating the obvious, sex is unquestionably a significant human activity, one our species has been engaging in at least since the biblical injunction to 'be fruitful and multiply,' " appellate Judge David Tatel wrote, adding a citation to the Book of Genesis.

It's puzzling in that you don't see too many public figures these days using the Bible to prove what is ultimately a sex-positive stance: that the ability to have sex is a fundamental aspect of what it means to be human. But I prefer my sex godless, thank you, and that's what makes this statement annoying to me on first blush. My personal beliefs aside, it's also annoying from a logical standpoint. Humans have been around - and have been having sex - much longer than the Bible has existed, so to say that our species has been fucking since "at least the biblical injunction to 'be fruitful and multiply' " is to say something that's painfully obvious, if not downright moronic. And a D.C. Circuit Court judge ought to know that.

Good Morning: Cibo Matto, "Sugar Water"

2008-07-24T07:57:00.002-04:00

One of Michel Gondry's best videos.

Let's Not Get Our Basketball Shorts In A Twist

2008-07-23T09:53:00.000-04:00

This ad is causing quite a stir in the gay blogosphere, and I'm going to come right out, as it were, and say: I don't really get it. People are saying that this ad is homophobic. I can see where they're coming from, but I don't agree with them.

As a sort-of-recent college graduate who majored in English, I'm well aware that there are multiple ways to read the same text (or advertisement, in this case). But some girls (or readings, in this case) are bigger (or better, in this case) than others, as Morrissey would sing. And in this case, the girl who says this ad is more about getting owned on the basketball court than it is about accidental teabagging is the bigger girl.

My exegesis of the ad is as follows. What this ad is selling is sneakers. The need the sneakers address is the need to excel on the court. Our man in red is clearly not excelling on the court; so far is he from excelling that he's getting dunked on, big time. Dunked on so big that he's got another player's balls in his face. And that utter failure on the basketball court ain't right. So buy these Nikes. Period.

Brandon, a commenter on the blog of the ad agency that created the ad, Wieden+Kennedy, was particularly on point:

As a gay male and a black male, I find that some of the commenters are jumping the gun and crying wolf for an ad that I feel is in no way homophobic. Growing up, what made dunking on someone embarrassing was and is not a man's genitals in your face but the fact that you were slammed on. That's what this is about and I can't help but to feel that it is YOU (the negative commenters) that are ignorant by making such knee jerk reactions. I can't help but to feel that these comments are coming from people who don't play or enjoy basketball to get the point of reference.

"But," you might say, "why is it not right to have another dude's balls in your face? Clearly the ad is homophobic - intentionally or not!" Well, again, the ad isn't saying that balls-to-the-face "ain't right", but let's assume for a moment that it is. In the context of the ad - playing basketball - balls-to-the-face really ain't right. Period. Brian (full disclosure: my man) wrote the following in a comment on Joe.My.God. about this:

It's a fucking power play! It's a battle of masculine will and power. That's what makes sports exciting. And by the way - that's what makes BUTT FUCKING exciting.

I really can't say it any better than that. No one - at any number along the Kinsey scale - wants an opposing player's crotch in his or her face in the heat of competition. That's the key point: in the heat of competition. The moment you take this ad out of context, as pretty much every other gay blogger seems to have done, you're left with what seems to be a homophobic ad. But that's the problem: the moment you take it out of context, you can interpret it however you want. That's not reading the ad; that's bringing your biases and agendas to bear on it. Yes, fellow gays. We have biases too.

"A-ha!" you might exclaim. "But where is the context in this ad? There's no hoop or basketball! You're only assuming this is about basketball!" Well, I'll throw that back at you: if the scene is not happening in the context of basketball, then what exactly are we supposed to believe is going on? Anyone? Again, if you take basketball out of the equation, you can read the ad however you want. I think the homophobia that some people see in this ad comes more from sports itself than from the actual advertisement. Does homophobia permeate sports? Yes, certainly, to some extent it does. But that's a different question altogether. Even though I disagree with his larger point that the ad should be pulled, I think this snippet of Hamilton Nolan's post about this on Gawker puts it best:

That said, the larger point is that the joke here—as in other campaigns revolving around ALL OF AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR SPORTS—is based on the implacable homophobia of straight jocks. That can't be denied.

Finally, I find it infuriating and depressing that the best argument those who think this ad is homophobic can come up with is, "Look at this homophobic ad. It's so homophobic. Because it is. And if you don't see that, then you're a bad, self-hating gay. Fuck Nike!" Where's the argument there? There is none, except for maybe, "I find this offensive; therefore, it must be offensive." Um, no. It is two-thousand-and-friggin'-eight, people. It's time to leave political correctness in the 1990s where it should have already died.

Good Morning: Everything But The Girl, "Missing"

2008-07-23T08:06:00.000-04:00

Actually, I Don't Find This To Be "Phat" In Any Way

2008-07-22T16:33:00.002-04:00

Some people dig a phat ride! Some people dig a phat crib! But everybody digs a Phatsac!

Um, actually not. I don't know what's more revolting: the horrible techno music blaring on the website, the nasty name of the product, or the ugliness of the Phatsac itself. You may thank (or blame) Google Ads for bringing this to my attention, though I'm not sure what e-mail I was reading that triggered a Phatsac ad. NOTE: Skank not included.

Estelle Getty Dies at 84

2008-07-22T14:35:00.003-04:00

Farewell, Sophia. We'll miss you terribly.

Philly.com Hates Homeless People

2008-07-22T11:21:00.003-04:00

The Philly.com homepage is devoted to a non-story right now: homeless people.

Anyone who has lived here for at least a year knows that a) Philly has lots of homeless people, and b) there always seem to be more in the summertime, because the warm weather draws the homeless out of shelters and into the streets. This is nothing new, and I don't blame them for wanting to be outside, enjoying the warm months of the year like everyone else. But the great minds of our city's two major dailies, lacking anything more important to report, have apparently decided to try on a posture of cityphobic outrage this morning, with two stories, a poll, and a photo gallery (see the homeless in their native habitat!) devoted to understanding Our City's Homeless Scourge.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not exactly the world's most compassionate person when it comes to encountering homeless people - and no one should be doing it in Rittenhouse Square, homeless or not - but homeless people don't deserve the Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom treatment they're getting on Philly.com right now.

UPDATE: Perhaps I'm wrong here. Even Rittenhouse Square itself seems to hate homeless people. (hat tip to Philebrity)

Good Morning: Madeline Kahn on "Sesame Street"

2008-07-22T08:04:00.001-04:00

Ok. So I know I've posted a bunch of videos like this recently, but this one is too adorable not to post.

White, Powerlifting Offensive Linemen Weighing 311 or 313 Need Not Apply

2008-07-21T14:16:00.005-04:00

Talk about a narrow fetish:

Scale will be provided. You must weigh exactly 312 lbs. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY.

Your Vote Reflects Your Polling Place

2008-07-21T10:00:00.002-04:00

Via Andrew Sullivan comes this interesting tidbit about the effect polling places have on voter behavior:

Jonah Berger, Assistant Professor of Marketing at the Wharton School of Business, conducted a terrific study where he demonstrates that where people vote affects how they vote. Essentially, people whose voting booth is located in a church are more likely to put more weight into social issues, people voting in fire houses care more about safety, and people voting in a school tend to put more weight on things like education.

Which makes me wonder: what does it mean if my polling place is a wallpaper store? Am I more likely to choose candidates who are aesthetically pleasing? Or whose names look nice printed on the ballot?

Good Morning: Liz Phair, "Stratford-on-Guy"

2008-07-21T08:15:00.000-04:00

On Gay Bars: A Response to Eric Leven

2008-07-18T14:51:00.000-04:00

Below is a comment I posted at Eric Leven's excellent blog KnuckleCrack.

I agree with pretty much everything that's been said here. The problem is, as Anonymous hints in the comments, we're now nearly 40 years past Stonewall, and queers don't have the same fight in us that we used to - because we've made an awful lot of progress during that time. Progress means being able to be out without fear, which means not all gays need spaces like bars and bathhouses to feel accepted and linked into a community.

There are other, non-queer-specific factors as well. U.S. cities, including New York and San Francisco, have experienced an incredible resurgence in the last 20 years or so. This drives up real estate prices, which has the effect of scattering gay communities, since higher expenses drive out those who can't afford them. We used to have downtown areas to ourselves because no one else would go near them. Now they're the hottest real estate there is. There's also the Internet, of course. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate on the effects of the Internet on gay culture to this crowd.

And frankly, there's the AIDS crisis. A bartender here in Philly told me a while back that two things were responsible for the demise of the most vibrant and crazy spots in town: the Internet and AIDS. AIDS killed off a huge number of our people - specifically, it killed the ones who remembered Stonewall, who remembered having to fight hard just to be out. They're also the ones who defined the scene during the 1970s and 1980s. When they died, the demographics and attitudes of gay people shifted dramatically.

There's also the effect of gay marriage, both as a concept and as a right. I'm surprised no one has mentioned Boston in the comments. Boston is a prime example of the death of gay culture. There are more gay bars in Providence, Rhode Island - a city 1/4 the size - than there are in Boston. Why? Gay marriage and the cost of living. Boston is super expensive to live in, and it happens to be in a state where gay marriage has been legal for years now. Gay culture has nearly died there because not enough people there need gay-specific spaces - at least not enough to pay Boston prices to live near them. Queers there are settling down, many in the suburbs, even if they're not getting married. The gay ghetto is nearly obsolete in Boston.

So on a certain level, we actually don't need gay bars – at least, not like we used to. And this is not something anyone else did to us, either. Things just changed, mostly for the better. If we need anything in terms of shared spaces, it's not more gay bars. It's better gay bars. Our current nightlife seems to me to be stuck in the past. Most gay bars – and there are exceptions, so don't get twisted here – are kind of all the same. But the ones that aren't the same are so refreshing that you wonder why you've put up with the places you've been going to. We need gay bars that reflect who and where we are now, not who and where we used to be.

Unfortunately, I'm going back to school in the fall, so one of you is gonna have to open one up.

Things I Like: July 18, 2008

2008-07-18T12:08:00.000-04:00

Only having two weeks left at my job.

The debut of the fifth season of Project Runway!

Keith from the fifth season of Project Runway:

Hot damn. On a related note, guys who look like Bluto.

Apparently, I really like videos of Sesame Street or Muppets characters.

My coffee grinder, because it looks like R2D2:

Now that we seem to have entered the so-called dog days, gin and tonic.

Those insanely catchy Dunkin' Donuts jingles by They Might Be Giants.

And finally, the Pansy Division-Sex Dwarf two-for-one party at the Trocadero tonight.

This has been another installment of Things I Like. Bon appetit!

screengrab of Project Runway from the fabulously glamorous Project Rungay