"Jeepers Crumpets, Who Could That Be?"

I present to you the first minute or so of the Sarah Palin-themed porn, Nailin' Palin. And yes, it's safe for work.

Puck Falin Update

So since my last post on the matter, Governor Palin has come to Philly and gone. But there's two fun new things to share. First, of course, is the video of Governor Palin dropping the puck and clearly getting booed - before the deafening music over the PA system drowns out the crowd.



Second is an excellent t-shirt for sale on Etsy that a classmate tipped me off to:

God, what will we do when this woman disappears from the national stage?

Puck Falin

The other day on Philebrity, there was a post about how incredibly stupid it was for Ed Snider to arrange for Sarah Palin to throw out the first puck at the Flyers' opener tonight. In the comments, people were gettin' riled up, and reminded them not to do anything stupid or violent, as it would only make Palin into a sympathetic figure. "Still," I concluded, "puck Falin."

When I next checked in on Philebrity, my heart was moved to see this post and the following graphic.My fellow Philadelphians, I am honored to have inspired this. For God and Benny Franklin, I remain,

Faithfully yours,
sweet jawnny

I Want To Marry Betty White

In this clip, she refers to Sarah Palin as a "crazy bitch" and says she'd love, really love to give Barack Obama more "experience."

No Palin Press Conference Before Election Day

Unsurprising. But terrifying and unprecedented. Can you imagine what she'd be like if McCain kicked the bucket and she became president? She'd out-Dubya Dubya.

On a slightly less serious note, it's not just the McCain campaign's undermining of the role of the press in a democratic society that bothers me here. It's also the fact that were being deprived of the certain-to-be-hilarious answers Palin would give if she did ever hold a press conference. Yesterday, one lucky reporter on the trail actually got to ask her a question(!): did she think Obama was dishonest? And this is what the Governor, wordsmith of the Last Frontier, said:

I’m not saying he’s dishonest, but in terms of judgment, in terms of being able to answer a question forthrightly, it has two different parts to this. The judgment and the truthfulness and just being able to answer very candidly a simple question about when did you know him, how did you know him, is there still — has there been an association continued since ’02 or ’05, I know I’ve read a couple different stories. I think it’s relevant.

Umm, what? "In terms of being able to answer a question forthrightly," indeed. If we elect this inarticulate, incurious, flash-card-governing fool and her running mate to the two highest offices in the land, we are a sorry lot indeed. Or we're geniuses for getting ourselves at least four years of Tina Fey impressions on SNL.

Palin B-I-N-G-O

Have fun during the debate tonight with Palin Bingo! This square is my personal favorite:

Get it? Her head is Air Space! lolzorz!!!1! I'm gonna hafta get good and drunk to watch this fiasco between her and Gaffebot5000 tonight. On the upside, they both have fake Twitter accounts now.

Sarah Palin Round-Up

It seems like every day she says or does some new stupid thing! Here's a round-up of recent Sarah Palin goodness. First, a clip from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey is fucking brilliant.



Next up, Sarah Palin makes the bold claim to Katie Couric that she reads ALL newspapers. Every single one of 'em. (Including the Times of London and Le Monde?) But she can't seem to remember the names of any of them. In fairness to her, however, she probably isn't allowed to mention most of them unless she attaches the disclaimer, "but I don't read that wacky LIBERAL ELITE paper anymore! I just trust my maverick intuition to tell me what's goin' on in the world!"



Finally, Sarah Palin and John McCain's joint appearance in a Katie Couric interview. Kathryn-Jean Lopez of the National Review put it best: "this video looks like Sarah Palin went back to the principal's office with her dad." You know it's bad when even the National Review isn't loving her.



Yes, those "Gotcha! journalism" questions from Temple grad students at Tony Luke's. Oh wait, he's not a journalist? Just a voter? Oy.

Sarah Palin To Get Good And Tight In Center City Before The Debate

My fellow Philadelphians, in case you haven't already heard, Sarah Palin is going to be knockin' back a few shots with hand-picked supporters from 7-ish until 8-ish at Irish Pub at 20th and Walnut tonight. So if you've got your "I'm with stupid -->" t-shirt on today and you want a photo op, tonight's your chance!

Sarah Palin On Alaska's Foreign Neighbors

So here's the actual version of the video I posted earlier. What just struck me about this that hadn't struck me before was this line from Gov. Palin: "It's funny that a comment like that was kind of made to...um, char-...I don't know, you know. Reporters. Mocked, yeah. I guess that's the word, yeah." It's not the fact that she got hamstrung for a moment there - it happens to all of us - it's the, "You know. Reporters!" bit. It's odd on two levels. Last I checked, one, Katie Couric *is* a reporter (though some people may differ with me on that), and two, Sarah Palin majored in journalism. Reporters, indeed!

Putin Rears His Head!

SUPERLOLZ:

via boingboing

I Personally Believe...

This clip probably best sums up my feelings on the Sarah Palin interview with Katie Couric.



More Palin-tastic fun later!

Bush To Follow Obama's Plan For Iraq And Afghanistan

Well, how about this: CNN reports that President Bush just announced a withdrawal of 8,000 troops from Iraq by February and an increase of troops in Afghanistan. This is basically what Obama has been saying we should do all along.

Bush said in a speech on Tuesday morning that improving conditions in Iraq will allow a "quiet surge" of American troops to Afghanistan, where there has been a resurgence of the Taliban and a growth in violence.

. . .

[The President announced:] "Over the next several months, we will bring home about 3,400 combat support forces -- including aviation personnel, explosive ordnance teams, combat and construction engineers, military police, and logistical support forces. By November, we will bring home a Marine battalion that is now serving in Anbar province. And in February of 2009, another Army combat brigade will come home.

"This amounts to about 8,000 additional American troops returning home without replacement. And if the progress in Iraq continues to hold, Gen. Petraeus and our military leaders believe additional reductions will be possible in the first half of 2009."

Meanwhile, you have McCain who has no plan for Iraq beyond the word "victory," which he has failed to define in any meaningful way, and his running mate, who believes we're doing God's work there:



The choice in this election is startingly clear.

If The Real Thing Don't Do The Trick, You Better Make Up Somethin' Quick

TMZ reports that badass rock bitches Ann and Nancy Wilson of TOTALLY FRIGGIN' AWESOME GROUP THAT I LOVE Heart are asking the McCain campaign to stop using their song "Barracuda" as Alaska Governor and Republican vice presidential candidate "Sarah Barracuda" Palin's theme song. The video is below. Right on, Wilson sisters!

I Was For It Before I Was Against It

Needs a caption. Seriously, WTF was McCain thinking picking her?!?

Image from Andrew Halcro via Ben Smith

Palin-Mania!

First of all, thanks to everyone who visited JAWNNY over the last few days from Towleroad and Kenneth in the 212. I'm flabbergasted that my lunch break observation was so noteworthy!

Second, I was going to follow up on that post with another one on the s**tshow that is Sarah Palin, but luckily, a friend has already helpfully compiled everything new that's come to light about the Governor of Alaska since she was named the Republican candidate for vice president all of four days ago. Check out The Palin Report for a nice running list of the last few days' events.

Finally, the existence of The Palin Report frees me to do what I do best: strive for humor and silliness. In that spirit, I share with you another shocking resemblance that a member of the Palin clan bears to a celebrity. Bristol Palin kind of looks like - no, not Jamie Lynn Spears - gymnastics badass Shawn Johnson. See for yourself:

Leaving aside the total imprudence of McCain having picked a vice presidential candidate who seems to have an endless stream of bad press associated with her, at least she's brought us some entertainment! And a pregnant daughter who looks like one of the country's recent Olympic heroes.

Karen Walker for VP?

Is it just me...

...or does McCain's pick for vice president, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (left), look a little like Karen Walker?