The Joy of Sox

The Red Sox won the American League Division Series last night in dramatic fashion and advance to the AL Championship Series where they'll face AL East rival Tampa Bay. But that's boring. What's not boring is a Gchat conversation I had with my friend (and devoted fan of this blog) Maureen during Game 3 of this series, which was Sunday night. I know there are a few Red Sox fans who read this, but I think the ladies and gays out there who generally like sports, even if they're not Sox fans, will appreciate it too.

me: are you watching the sox?

Maureen: yeah dude rough game
end this shit

me: srsly

Maureen: Figgins
hahaha awful name

me: i wanted my boys to fucking homer in the bottom of the 9th but they weren't listening to me screaming at the TV
chone figgins. yeah. terrible name, all around.

Maureen: i know, i cant believe pedroia didnt listen

me: pedroia is my little snugglebear

Maureen: mine too

me: i would house him in a sec. [NOTE: The proper pronunciation of "house" in this context is "haüs".]

Maureen: me too

me: lolz this is why i love talking sports with gays or ladies

Maureen: totally
i was just telling struwe that i wish big ben would shave off his goatee
oh there he is!

me: ben who? roethlisberger?

Maureen: yeah
steelers just won

me: ugh
hate them
and yeah, big ben would be cute without the peach fuzz chin pubes

Maureen: yeah, because when you combine that with his white trash southern accent, its not a good combo

me: meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, kevin youkilis has the most ridiculous facial hair...to ever turn me on.
big ben doesn't have a good chin, really

Maureen: jahahhaha really

me: yeah dude
i'm all about the epic youk-goat

Maureen: i dont like youks, it grosses me out
lol
damn pedroia

me: i just screamed DAMN IT DUSTIN at the TV
why don't they ever hear me?

Maureen: papi looks like his beard was painted on tonight

me: lol
i just said that out loud to myself
this conversation is totally going on my blog, btw

Maureen: lol
610-[redacted]
thats my #, since this is going on your blog
There must be at least a handful of cute straight guys who read your blog

me: hahahaha
well, there's at least some cute gays who read it
and we're good drinking buddies

Maureen: yeah, good enough
men are men

me: spoken like a true maneater

Maureen: just call me nelly
sweeeeeeeeet

me: YES
see? never doubt the power of the youk-goat.

Maureen: he looks like a country sociopath

me: some of us have fantasies...

Maureen: lol

Photo from The Boston Globe