Of Bears and Men

If you've been paying attention, you know by now that I love reading missed connections on craigslist. One of today's missed connections triggered some thoughts, so let's discuss this (emphasis mine):

R3 Redeye - Cal hat - m4m - 33 (Gladstone)
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Reply to: [redacted]@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-10, 12:36AM EDT

White Tshirt, dark blue cargos, flip-flops, hat, scruffy face, hairy legs.....WOOOOF!! I woofed at you as I let you out, and I think you looked back, but not sure if it was a smile or a "hmm, would I do him?"

email me...

Okay. I'm a hairy gay guy, and perhaps as a result, I am no stranger to bear culture. I love facial hair, I love chest hair, and I love guys who choose not to remove it. I could be classified as a type of bear (an otter, if you're curious). My boyfriend's a bear, too. So is one of my favoritest bloggers. And yes, even some of my best friends are bears, of one type or another. I am one with the transcendental Bear that smiles over us all.

But the one aspect of bear culture I really don't get is woofing. As in actually woofing at guys they find attractive. I mean, bears - the kind that aren't human - don't woof. Dogs do. Why do gay bears woof? Is it to prove they're masculine? I'm not sure that regressing to animal sounds makes you more of a man. Is it just another aspect of the time-honored (and exhausting) bear codes? It's not exactly subtle, which is usually the point of a code. I'd think woofing at the wrong person would get you injured, or even institutionalized. What's so alluring about the woof? WHENCE WOOF?

If some guy woofed at me, I'd probably punch him in the face. Or at least sigh exasperatedly and say, "Really?", before abruptly walking off.

Unless he was hot, of course.

Photo by Flickr user Andrew_N, used under a Creative Commons license

Tell Them How You Really Feel

I am a regular reader of missed connections on craigslist, and even though my gay chauvinism means I pretty much read only the m4m listings, I must say, they really are usually the best. To wit, one I saw today titled "To the three boys that I am dating." It's a long post, and it's so good that it's hard to pick just one part to quote. But here's a choice snippet:

Bachelor Number 1- you're a nice guy. a bit of a nerd. but that's okay because I'm a dork. but I think the contrasting difference between the two is that at least when I'm dorking out, it's interesting and endearing. whereas you tend to nerd out about really boring things.
...
p.s., again, I'm really sorry for coming on your bible. but you really shouldn't have left it on the nightstand table, open to the verses about man laying with another man. I wish you would let it go.

You really should read the whole thing (language NSFW).

(t/y Joey)