Craigslist Roundup: Naughty Reckless Drivers And Classic NES Fetishists

As y'all know by now, I loves me some wacky craigslist ads. A friend back in Rhode Island sent a tweet about this beaut last night, posted by a naughty little reckless-driving minx in Cranston who just wants to be punished for moving violations...and then get off, in more ways than one. The screenshot is below, in case the post gets flagged for removal for some reason. Click to enlarge.

Then, just this morning, Lis sent me the link to an awesome recent addition to the best of craigslist. You really must read the whole thing, but here's one of my favorite parts:

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

He's so particular! But I have to say, the line "When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you" is (literally) fucking genius.

Update: Princess Chunky Is A Star

Just a few days after the Inquirer reported about the rescue of Princess Chunky, a 44-pound cat, by a Camden County animal shelter, the Princess has become a star. Her - or rather his, as a veterinarian has since determined Princess Chunky is a male - "foster mother" spoke to a radio chat show in London yesterday, and the cat was scheduled to appear on Live with Regis and Kelly this morning, as well as shows on several other networks over the next two days. The Inquirer also adds this interesting detail in today's story about Prince(ss) Chunky:

Shelter officials received a call from the owner, a senior citizen who lost her home to foreclosure and is now staying with friends. Because of her circumstances, the owner said she was "vey sad" she could no longer care for the 44-pound cat, shelter executive director Jennifer Anderch said in a telephone interview this morning.

The happy ending, of course, is that with all the media attention he's getting, Prince(ss) Chunky should have no trouble finding a new home!

Good Morning: Adina Howard, "Freak Like Me"

Good Morning: Jade, "Don't Walk Away"

Princess Chunky Of Jersey

Animal Control in Camden County, NJ, found a 44-pound cat last week that they've dubbed Princess Chunky.

There are fat cats and then there are fat cats.
South Jersey, to be sure, has seen its fair share of the indictable variety, but never before has it seen the likes of the portly pussycat found waddling in Voorhees.

Meet Princess Chunky -- all 44 pounds of her and just two pounds shy of the 1987 Guiness World Record for overweight cats.

Camden County Animal Control Officer Jim McCleery got the call Friday. There was a a stray cat prowling on a patio in the Ashley Run condominium development.

"We picked him up and I knew from the get-go it wouldn't fit in the regular cat carrier, so we had to put him in a dog carrier. . . it was a big cat, the biggest one this year," said McCleery of the Camden County Joint Municipal Animal Control Program.

The article goes on to say that Princess Chunky may have...diabeetus! Poor kitty. Someone did has too many cheezburgerz.

I'm Lovin' It

from Failblog via Joe. My. God.

Service Alert

Just wanted to let y'all know that posting may be a little sparse this week, as my evenings have been spent helping Brian get our new, shared space in order and my days are spent making sure all hell doesn't break loose after my last day at work.

But fear not: I've already got the rest of my School Bus Jams planned out for the rest of the week.

Good Morning: Zhané, "Hey Mr. DJ"

The second video in this week's celebration of School Bus Jams (explained here).

Best Word Of The Day Ever

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day today is:

t/y Kolajo and Kate

Score Another For Political Correctness And Kneejerk Liberalism

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