Thursday, July 31, 2008

Craigslist Roundup: Naughty Reckless Drivers And Classic NES Fetishists

As y'all know by now, I loves me some wacky craigslist ads. A friend back in Rhode Island sent a tweet about this beaut last night, posted by a naughty little reckless-driving minx in Cranston who just wants to be punished for moving violations...and then get off, in more ways than one. The screenshot is below, in case the post gets flagged for removal for some reason. Click to enlarge.

Then, just this morning, Lis sent me the link to an awesome recent addition to the best of craigslist. You really must read the whole thing, but here's one of my favorite parts:
When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.
He's so particular! But I have to say, the line "When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you" is (literally) fucking genius.

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