LET'S DO THIS, PHILADELPHIA!

COME ON, PHILS, AND RIDE THE SOUL TRAIN TO VICTORY TONIGHT!!!





k thx 4 foto philly.com

Why Fundamentalism Is Dangerous

Fundamentalism in any form is terrifying and dangerous. Sure, it makes your life easier; you don't have to worry about what the answer is because it's always Jesus or God or Allah or Whoever. But it makes you stop thinking. And it gives people the false notion that a return to theocratic monarchy would magically heal the world. News flash, Tracys of the world: it'll be the death of us all.

And the menacing "I'LL PRAY FOR HIM"? Creepy.

"Jeepers Crumpets, Who Could That Be?"

I present to you the first minute or so of the Sarah Palin-themed porn, Nailin' Palin. And yes, it's safe for work.

Puck Falin Update

So since my last post on the matter, Governor Palin has come to Philly and gone. But there's two fun new things to share. First, of course, is the video of Governor Palin dropping the puck and clearly getting booed - before the deafening music over the PA system drowns out the crowd.



Second is an excellent t-shirt for sale on Etsy that a classmate tipped me off to:

God, what will we do when this woman disappears from the national stage?

Puck Falin

The other day on Philebrity, there was a post about how incredibly stupid it was for Ed Snider to arrange for Sarah Palin to throw out the first puck at the Flyers' opener tonight. In the comments, people were gettin' riled up, and reminded them not to do anything stupid or violent, as it would only make Palin into a sympathetic figure. "Still," I concluded, "puck Falin."

When I next checked in on Philebrity, my heart was moved to see this post and the following graphic.My fellow Philadelphians, I am honored to have inspired this. For God and Benny Franklin, I remain,

Faithfully yours,
sweet jawnny

I Also Want To Marry Donna Brazile

At the New Yorker breakfast this past weekend, Donna Brazile launched into an amazing ad-libbed speech about race and the election. It's passionate but not angry, stirring but not cheesy. Like Anderson Cooper, I would love to be her boo.

I Want To Marry Betty White

In this clip, she refers to Sarah Palin as a "crazy bitch" and says she'd love, really love to give Barack Obama more "experience."

All The Fat Stupid Racist People

The crowd in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, filing into a recent McCain-Palin rally.



Terrorist, Muslim, Communist. All these words are red herrings. What these people so clearly want to say is "nigger." I'd be able to deal with videos like this better if these people just called Obama a nigger because at least then they'd be honest. They believe what they need to believe so that they can go to bed at night thinking they're not racist. Fucking assholes. I'm embarrassed to share a skin color and a state with these slimebags. This is your base, Republicans? In 2008?

No Palin Press Conference Before Election Day

Unsurprising. But terrifying and unprecedented. Can you imagine what she'd be like if McCain kicked the bucket and she became president? She'd out-Dubya Dubya.

On a slightly less serious note, it's not just the McCain campaign's undermining of the role of the press in a democratic society that bothers me here. It's also the fact that were being deprived of the certain-to-be-hilarious answers Palin would give if she did ever hold a press conference. Yesterday, one lucky reporter on the trail actually got to ask her a question(!): did she think Obama was dishonest? And this is what the Governor, wordsmith of the Last Frontier, said:

I’m not saying he’s dishonest, but in terms of judgment, in terms of being able to answer a question forthrightly, it has two different parts to this. The judgment and the truthfulness and just being able to answer very candidly a simple question about when did you know him, how did you know him, is there still — has there been an association continued since ’02 or ’05, I know I’ve read a couple different stories. I think it’s relevant.

Umm, what? "In terms of being able to answer a question forthrightly," indeed. If we elect this inarticulate, incurious, flash-card-governing fool and her running mate to the two highest offices in the land, we are a sorry lot indeed. Or we're geniuses for getting ourselves at least four years of Tina Fey impressions on SNL.

The Joy of Sox

The Red Sox won the American League Division Series last night in dramatic fashion and advance to the AL Championship Series where they'll face AL East rival Tampa Bay. But that's boring. What's not boring is a Gchat conversation I had with my friend (and devoted fan of this blog) Maureen during Game 3 of this series, which was Sunday night. I know there are a few Red Sox fans who read this, but I think the ladies and gays out there who generally like sports, even if they're not Sox fans, will appreciate it too.

me: are you watching the sox?

Maureen: yeah dude rough game
end this shit

me: srsly

Maureen: Figgins
hahaha awful name

me: i wanted my boys to fucking homer in the bottom of the 9th but they weren't listening to me screaming at the TV
chone figgins. yeah. terrible name, all around.

Maureen: i know, i cant believe pedroia didnt listen

me: pedroia is my little snugglebear

Maureen: mine too

me: i would house him in a sec. [NOTE: The proper pronunciation of "house" in this context is "haüs".]

Maureen: me too

me: lolz this is why i love talking sports with gays or ladies

Maureen: totally
i was just telling struwe that i wish big ben would shave off his goatee
oh there he is!

me: ben who? roethlisberger?

Maureen: yeah
steelers just won

me: ugh
hate them
and yeah, big ben would be cute without the peach fuzz chin pubes

Maureen: yeah, because when you combine that with his white trash southern accent, its not a good combo

me: meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, kevin youkilis has the most ridiculous facial hair...to ever turn me on.
big ben doesn't have a good chin, really

Maureen: jahahhaha really

me: yeah dude
i'm all about the epic youk-goat

Maureen: i dont like youks, it grosses me out
lol
damn pedroia

me: i just screamed DAMN IT DUSTIN at the TV
why don't they ever hear me?

Maureen: papi looks like his beard was painted on tonight

me: lol
i just said that out loud to myself
this conversation is totally going on my blog, btw

Maureen: lol
610-[redacted]
thats my #, since this is going on your blog
There must be at least a handful of cute straight guys who read your blog

me: hahahaha
well, there's at least some cute gays who read it
and we're good drinking buddies

Maureen: yeah, good enough
men are men

me: spoken like a true maneater

Maureen: just call me nelly
sweeeeeeeeet

me: YES
see? never doubt the power of the youk-goat.

Maureen: he looks like a country sociopath

me: some of us have fantasies...

Maureen: lol

Photo from The Boston Globe

Harpy Hasselbeck Auditions For Fox News

The Huffington Post has great video of Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View claiming that while any mention of John McCain's involvement in the Keating Five scandal is off-limits, mentions of Barack Obama's tenuous connections to former Weatherman William Ayers are fair game. Needless to say, the other women of The View tear her a new one. And that was without Joy Behar, who was out today. It's not surprising Hasselbeck was pushing GOP talking points today, as it's rumored she may be considering a move to Fox "News" Channel.

Lady In Cow Costume Arrested

In non-Sarah-Palin-related (but equally amusing) news, a woman in Ohio was recently arrested while wearing a cow costume. And yes, she was wearin' it for the mugshots!

According to WKRC in Cincinnati, Michelle Allen was arrested for disorderly conduct for allegedly chasing children, blocking traffic, even peeing on a neighbor's porch - all while wearing the cow suit. Police say she smelled of booze when they arrested her. There's a shocker!

Image from WKRC-TV

Palin B-I-N-G-O

Have fun during the debate tonight with Palin Bingo! This square is my personal favorite:

Get it? Her head is Air Space! lolzorz!!!1! I'm gonna hafta get good and drunk to watch this fiasco between her and Gaffebot5000 tonight. On the upside, they both have fake Twitter accounts now.

Sarah Palin Round-Up

It seems like every day she says or does some new stupid thing! Here's a round-up of recent Sarah Palin goodness. First, a clip from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey is fucking brilliant.



Next up, Sarah Palin makes the bold claim to Katie Couric that she reads ALL newspapers. Every single one of 'em. (Including the Times of London and Le Monde?) But she can't seem to remember the names of any of them. In fairness to her, however, she probably isn't allowed to mention most of them unless she attaches the disclaimer, "but I don't read that wacky LIBERAL ELITE paper anymore! I just trust my maverick intuition to tell me what's goin' on in the world!"



Finally, Sarah Palin and John McCain's joint appearance in a Katie Couric interview. Kathryn-Jean Lopez of the National Review put it best: "this video looks like Sarah Palin went back to the principal's office with her dad." You know it's bad when even the National Review isn't loving her.



Yes, those "Gotcha! journalism" questions from Temple grad students at Tony Luke's. Oh wait, he's not a journalist? Just a voter? Oy.